Last weekend I had the honor to officiate a wedding “do over” for a couple who first married each other in 1997, but divorced several years ago. I’ve known this couple (Jamie and Jalynn Schnur) since the moment they met in 1993.
This week’s post is an edited version of my message from the wedding…
Father God, thank you for bringing us here today. Please bless the words that will be spoken in this ceremony, may they glorify you, may they be used to strengthen marriages, and to get a better glimpse into your character. We ask for a blessing on this marriage and this family. In Jesus name. Amen.
The reconciliation, the restoration, the second chance that has occurred here is fascinating. We are part of something very special and rare. Many people will say that divorce is like a death. In some ways it is because marriage is an entity, and divorce brings an end, a death, to that entity. While weddings symbolize the beginning of something, this wedding also symbolizes the end of something. The end of separation, the end of the divorce. This wedding is unique.
Like Jamie and Jalynn say “you only get married twice, once”.
Jalynn shared with me that while it would have been easier (and less expensive) for them to jet off for a private ceremony, they wanted to share this time, this event, this gesture with friends and family because they wanted all of us to be a part of it. To learn from it.
She wants to do this to “put a bow on it”. They’ve come a long, long way together and they wanted to cross this finish line in the presence of friends and family.
Several years ago I was hanging out with Jamie and Jalynn, and the thought popped into my head to ask them, “how is your marriage?” – but I chickened out. I made excuses.
- didn’t want to intrude
- didn’t want to offend
- I’m sure it is fine
- none of my business
Except as a friend who had known them as a couple longer than anyone, it was absolutely my business. I knew in my heart there was something wrong but I didn’t do anything intentional to address it. A missed opportunity at best, and I bet I’m not the only one here today who could have been a better friend.
The beautiful thing is that it is all ok. These two have learned how to forgive; there has been a lot of hurt along the way. The hurt piles up, but only in true forgiveness can there be true reconciliation and healing. Jalynn shared with me that toward the end of her father J.C.’s life, he grew more and more into a man who was all about forgiveness; both in words and action. That same theme, forgiveness, is part of the Schnur reconciliation both with each other, and with those who may have been part of their pain in the past.
Who in your life right now needs you to step up, lean in, and offer love, a listening ear, words of encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, prayer, wisdom, financial support or forgiveness? Whether it be a marriage on the rocks, a troubled teenager, a lost soul, or someone you know is hurting. Who will step up to intervene?
If something stirs in us to even ponder saying something, then we’ve been called. We were not put on this earth merely to satisfy our own pleasures and desires. We as humans, made in the image of God were put here to live out our lives for His glory, and how we respond to those in need is a reflection of our inward hearts. Jamie and Jalynn were blown away by the response to their wedding and see that as a symbol of how we feel about them. Most of us have no idea how important we are to other people. Let’s all start sharing more with others how important they are to us.
Consider Jesus of Nazareth. His miracles were well documented with his first being the turning of water into wine at a wedding feast. He performed miracles not to glorify himself but to glorify his father in Heaven; he raised people from the dead, walked on water, healed the sick, helped the blind to see, and in the end he offered the ultimate sacrifice as a substitute for the penalty we deserve for our sin; he offered his very life.
Matthew chapter 22 documents Jesus’ response to the question “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39)
We have the same call with what we’ve been given as far as intellect, strength, and our resources such as time and money. We are called to offer this love to our friends, family, and people we may never even know personally. Don’t miss the opportunity as it will not last. We know people are counting on us. How will we respond today?
A few years ago while talking to Jamie about “joy”, sadly at that time he said “there’s no joy Jon, none”. That broke my heart; there were lots of broken hearts during those times.
But there is hope… JOY HAS RETURNED!
There is gratitude and gratefulness for the second chance. Few people get this opportunity. Jamie and Jalynn have a new perspective and are doing this for the right reasons. They are both ready; their family is ready. They’ve rebuilt something together that now stands on more solid ground than ever before. They don’t seek to be perfect on their own; they seek to learn from mistakes, let the past be the past, and move on. Life is precious and too short to take any other approach.
Today there’s love, restoration, respect, trust, laughter, forgiveness, passion, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness. There is communication. There are tears of joy.
And that’s what we are here today to celebrate; this is a reunion of friends and family, so let’s get on with it and make it official, let’s put a bow on it.
Today’s reading links: Hebrews 7 & Psalm 15