Over the past week, I’ve felt excruciating pain like I’ve never felt before as a result of improper form while exercising. On a scale of one to ten, there were times that the agony was almost ten and I was very close to heading into the emergency room. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t sit, and could barely think straight (hence I’m writing this journal entry the night before it is scheduled to post).
Many thoughts crossed my mind in my darkest hours; here are some of them:
- We don’t appreciate being “pain free” when life is good. We need to be praising God every single day, throughout the day for being God and the many blessings he has given us. I recall a commercial a while back with a tagline that was something like, “when you’re not well, nothing else matters”. While not entirely true, it resonates with me because the bulk of my waking moments were spent with the hope to be well again.
- Did God allow this so that I would grow closer to him? I don’t think God zapped my lower back but I do believe he allowed this to happen. While I wouldn’t wish the situation on anyone, and I hope to never go through it again, I can say that I did grow closer to God through this. There was deep prayer and meditation, crying out, and devout prayer from my wife, children, and others.
- There are people in the world suffering. I’m certain there are many people around the world who live in similar pain all day every day and this caused me to have a little more compassion for those who are hurting. We never know what people are going through. I’m fortunate to have people who love me and take care of me (like Amy did making a nice makeshift bed on the wood floors as that was the best place for my back to heal).
- Thankful for medical professionals who are experts and truly care about their patients. This week I talked to a nurse on the phone for a consult, spent time in a medical clinic with numerous people inspecting me to rule out various scary things, and spent time on the phone with a kind and generous friend who is a physician. Every interaction I had with a medical professional was quite amazing, and I’m left in awe at the gifts God has given people. What if everyone found their true calling and lived it out to the fullest?
- While most pharmacy medication is “man made”, I’m deeply thankful for what the proper dosage and usage of various medications can achieve. There were a couple times when I thought “I cannot take this anymore”, and then the medication kicked in. Praise God for giving people the knowledge, wisdom, and foresight to produce medications that help and heal when utilized appropriately.
It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. (John 6:63)
BJ’s post from yesterday titled “Do you want to be healed?” really caught my attention because much like my physical pain and suffering, the weight and impact of sin can bring us to a dark place. I want to be healed physically and I want to live life on this earth, but what I really need is an eternal healer, and eternal life. There is only one physician who can heal us from the shame, sorrow, guilt, and loss that we encounter through our sins, and his name is Jesus.