After significant preparation, over a nine-day timespan, my wife and I traveled thousands of miles, taking multiple flights to bring our two sons to college in two different states – far away from home. We are now officially empty nesters.
This all comes with a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts, and this is my attempt to take off the mask that I’ve been wearing through it all, and after returning to a quiet and empty home.
We have the satisfaction that we have reached a long-anticipated milestone. It was God’s plan and will for them to eventually leave the home to venture out and grow in wisdom and knowledge. For an eagle to soar, it must first leave the nest and learn to fly!
Along with the satisfaction comes gratitude as we reflect on our time as parents of babies, then young boys, and now men. We are grateful for these and more: That we all know Christ and call him our Lord and Savior. We are thankful for our marriage, that we enjoy and love each other, and that we have each other through the ups and downs of this adventure. We are also especially grateful for the love and support given by friends and family who have checked in asking how things are going. I got choked up each time my wife would read a text from a friend – these are real friends, God bless each of you!
Our gratitude also results in joy for our sons, who were eager and ready for college. This time is many years in the making, and one year ago, we thought there was no way our youngest would be ready to go to college in a year. We were wrong: God answered our prayers for our son to grow, mature, and thrive academically and socially during his senior year of high school.
As reality sets in, there is no shortage of pain and sorrow. As with all of the beauty, there is also a sense of loss. There are empty bedrooms and artifacts left behind, the sports equipment that will likely never be used again, the high school yearbooks, and the boyish things that once meant so much are now symbolic of change. It is also painful that most of our sons’ grandparents are not healthy enough to fully embrace this next step with our family. Finally, one of the most impactful – daily meals as a family – typically the highlight of our day, will now be few and far between.
At the same time, there is a new sense of freedom. We see our sons maturing into men, craving and embracing their independence while also learning to accept the responsibility that comes with their choices. And for my wife and me, though our hearts feel heavy with the sense of loss, we are beginning to embrace what it means to have a calendar no longer defined by high school schedules – start and finish times, exams, breaks, sports, and ceremonies. We booked some travel for a few weeks from now, knowing it will be bittersweet but also a step into this next season of life together.
We know we are not supposed to worry. We are also human, and we are prone to ask lots of questions and wonder if we did the right things along the way: Did we teach them well? Were we the best parents we could be? Do we need to apologize for anything? What if he is unhappy at his chosen university? How will we make the best financial decisions in these expensive years?
Writing this has helped me peel back the mask and recognize the beauty of God’s plan and love for us, even in the silence of an empty home. And as I sat with these thoughts, here is the scripture that inspired this post. I read this as a prayer for us and other families going through similar and other difficult situations.
Dear Preston, Dear Peyton, Dear Amy,
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)