Just Ask


My wife Amy is a hugger.

During a recent interaction with a friend, Amy did her usual hug thing. Except this time after the hug, the friend said “could I please have another hug, I could really use one”. Amy was delighted to serve!

Amy shared this story with me and we reflected on the fact that the friend was bold enough to ask for another hug. Sure, hugs are free and it was a simple thing to do, but it made me wonder how often people need a good hug or any favor, but refrain from asking.

It is my opinion that 100% of the time, a friend, or even a casual acquaintance would find joy and satisfaction in being trusted enough to be asked for help.

Amy has always had the desire to be independent or self-sufficient. She is a passionate individual, and when she wants something she goes after it. In doing this, she doesn’t like to burden anyone, ever.

Becoming vulnerable

We have one car so logistics can be a little tricky. Shortly after the hug incident, we had a scheduling conflict. Amy wanted to go to her fitness bootcamp and I needed the car for work.  As a result, someone needed to change their plans or we needed a new variable in the mix.

Then out of the blue, Amy decided to go out of her comfort zone and ask for help. She messaged the bootcamp group and asked if anyone might be able to give her a lift. The same friend from the hugging incident quickly replied and offered to help. Nice!

The two ladies chatted it up en route to the workout and when they arrived the friend turned to Amy and said “ok, give me a hug and hop out”. Surprised, Amy said, “Wait, what? You’re not coming?”. The friend briefly shared that she just wanted to help Amy out; friends helping friends. How refreshing.

This was a reminder for us to not think so highly of ourselves that we miss out on building closer relationships and being part of someone else’s joy in giving. Becoming vulnerable builds trust and opens us up to new experiences we might not have otherwise imagined.

Ask our creator

Through this story we are once again led to our God who desires relationship with us; a two way relationship. He wants us to communicate with him in prayer, to ask him to meet various needs and he wants to answer. It is a model for how we can and should be in relationship with others.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. (John 15:7)

Asking shows our trust that the responder will be open to our requests. It is symbolic of relationship. Conversely, not asking says “I’ve got this”… and in the end, we don’t have this, Jesus has this!

  • Whose life do you need to inject yourself in and start helping?
  • What situation in your life could use some help from a friend?
  • In what ways can you step out of your comfort zone and become more vulnerable?
  • What aspect of your life have you not turned over to Jesus because “you’ve got this?”

Just ask!