Well friends, this is tough one for me to write on. David does a bang up job letting us know that people are corrupt, their actions are evil, and no one does good. He reminds us that God is looking for good people and seeking out the wise, but the reality is that none of us are righteous or wise without God’s work in us. I know that David speaks the truth…none of us are inherently good but this Psalm sounds harsh and cutting. It exposes the truth that we like to look past so we feel better about ourselves. Who wouldn’t prefer to overlook our true state of being without God’s intervention in our lives? Maybe this dose of reality is exactly what we are to be considering today. If we are willing to get real with who we were before God’s grace and help in our lives, it makes His intervention that much sweeter.
The note in my Bible on this psalm reads, “While God is not affected by what we think of him, we are definitely and eternally affected by what God thinks of us. This Psalm begins with the bold claim that there is no God, but by verses 4-5 the true reason for rejecting God has become clear. The reason people reject God has nothing to do with God’s existence and everything to do with people’s sinfulness. In our desire to do wrong, we treat God as if he doesn’t exist.” This stings! I don’t want to think about myself through this lens. It is ugly and self-indulgent. It is also true. The saddest part for me is that after Jesus’ sacrificial gift of buying me out of my sin, I can still struggle with these thoughts. Sometimes I still treat God as if he doesn’t exist so I can do the rotten things I want to do. This is humbling to write. It is embarrassing to admit this truth to all who read here. I want so badly to be able to say that my gratefulness for what He has done for me stops me in my tracks when I am tempted to be self-indulgent. This struggle is not over for me but I can honestly say that after being in relationship with him for years, I see improvement. I am experiencing more and more times when the temptation doesn’t win. I am starting to see that the break in my relationship with God is not worth the temporary pleasure of the sin. This battle of fighting sin will last until my death on this earth. The perfection of choosing right every single time is one of the draws of heaven.
I want to make note that God chose to love me and make a way for me to be washed clean from the consequences of my sin while I was in the midst of sinning. I never got “good enough” or went a certain number of days without sinning to earn His attention or favor. He loved me in my mess. He reached out to me when I was disregarding Him. He made the ultimate sacrifice for me before I was even born. Where else can you find this kind of love? Who else is willing and capable of taking the punishment for what we have done wrong?
I trust that the more time I sit with the reality of my selfishness, the more I will be changed by His willingness to gift me a way out of what I deserve because of His deep love for me. I am praying this morning that I will become less able to lie to myself about God’s existence when I am tempted to serve myself, and more drawn to the richness of relationship with him instead.