I read and re-read Psalm 59 for today’s reading and finally decided that it is not for me. Sure, it’s a great picture of David and a beautiful story about God protecting him. King Saul is hunting him down. Could there be anything more terrifying than the most powerful man in the land wanting you dead? With armies, a secret service, and his best men, there really was no chance of survival.
I don’t have that. Nobody is hunting me down and my life isn’t in danger. Good thing too, because the next thing David declares in Psalm 59 is his innocence. Verse 3 captures it. He cries out to God to save him, reminding God that he has done nothing wrong, that he has no transgressions. In other words: This isn’t punishment, I don’t deserve this. Come and help me.
But, here is the real problem. I can’t claim that. I know what I’ve done and still do. Sometimes I feel like God would never choose me like this.
This is why Psalm 59 is not for me. Me and David, we are nothing alike. Aside from David’s innocence, there is one other important marker for me. David was anointed. God actually told him that he would be king of Israel. Of course God is going to protect his anointed. But me? What value do I have to God?
That is enough for me. There is no reason to keep reading Psalm 59. Its not for me.
The Holy Spirit, however, has other plans. That’s when He reminds me of Jesus.
I am reminded that Jesus declares my innocence. Romans 8:1 says “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Thats what his death on the cross accomplished. His suffering is the payment for my sins. His death is the ultimate cost and his resurrection is the innocence. Through his sacrifice, I too can call upon him and say “for no transgression of mine, for no fault of my own.”
But, as I write those words, I feel a weight of bricks stacked upon me. Why would he do such a thing? How could that even be true?
God says “because I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. Remember, this promise was given to the exiles in Babylon. They felt abandoned by God, but he had other plans.
Uh, wait. That starts to sound like anointing, like God has chosen me just like he chose David. It’s a little too ironic that God anointed David king, but Saul sat on the throne (1 Samuel 16). Its a little too coincidental that David lived as a fugitive, on the run, even though God promised him something he couldn’t even imagine. I wonder, “what if that’s what Jesus is doing for me? What if my suffering, my wilderness experience and my shortcomings are part of his plan?”
The difference between David and myself is belief. It pains me to say it but the opposite of belief is denial. If I am not ready to face my denial, I have to consider ignorance. Maybe I just don’t have a firm grip on this anointing. The Bible gives clear answers.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 (ESV) And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us, and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee – you know, when I actually slow down and listen, its true. I feel His spirit in my heart.
1 Peter 2:9-10 (ESV) But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. – no matter what ive done, God will, God does choose me. I am chosen!
Turns out, maybe Psalm 59 is for me. Like David, my life and circumstances, the loneliness, the heartache and the struggles create doubt that, left unchecked, become denial.