1 Kings 4, Proverbs 1-2, Psalm 43, Romans 9
“I need a win.”
How many times have I said that? I’ve prayed for it. “Just give me a win, Lord.” Many times. What does it mean? It means that I am trying hard, working diligently, yet I am failing. Things are blocking my way. When I need a win, my conversations are colored with complaint. I think only of all the bad things going on in my life and it comes out through my mouth. Others can also see it in my body. “You look tired,” they say.
“God, give me a win,” I pray.
The prayer is answered quickly. “I am your win.” But, I instantly reject it. That is too corny for me. Too cliché. “That’s too easy,” I quip. I want a real win. A victory that is recognizable, one that others will see too.
Gathering myself, I attempt to respond more thoughtfully. “Thanks for the reassurance God, but Ive got this. I will try harder. I’ll be smarter. I’ll work longer. I will be more organized, and more caring. I’ll set bigger goals and keep them in front of me all the time. I will win. Then, you can be proud. Then, I will be worthy.”
Thats when God confronts me with Scripture. His word says that I, like the Israelites, have stumbled over the stumbling stone. Romans 9 says it like this, “they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone.” (Romans 9:32).
What does it look like to pursue it by faith? Faith remembers that today, I am winning because he comes here, for me. He does not see a liar, a cheat, or a failure. He sees his son, great and glorious. He ses the purity of my heart, not because I am good, but because Jesus has made me good. I am covered in his blood, the one and only true sacrifice. All of my failure is taken away. Now, I am here with God, separated from my sin. I have already won.